A week after she scored seven nominations at the 68th Grammy Awards, Lady Gaga graced the cover of Rolling Stone's December magazine to talk about "MAYHEM," finding love and touring.
This marks Gaga's fourth time on the cover of the magazine and her first since 2011.
Read the cover story here, and check out some highlights below.
On mental health
Gaga opened up about the mental health struggles she faced after the release of "ARTPOP" in 2013. She said "ARTPOP" altered the trajectory of her career because it "was the first time that [she] ever had major criticism about a piece of work" she made.
From there, she discussed how her mental health problems continued through the next decade. She said she did "A Star is Born" on lithium, a powerful mood stabilizer, and had a psychotic break after filming on the Joanne World Tour: "I needed to take a break. I couldn't do anything ... I completely crashed. It was really scary. There was a time where I didn't think I could get better. ... I feel really lucky to be alive."
She continued to say she doesn't think she "was doing very well" during the filming of "House of Gucci," and spoke about how "Chromatica" is "very literal" because it's all she had: "I didn't have a lot of the same type of poetry inside of me because I sort of lost it."
This concept is explored in the "Disease" music video, which she said "is so deliberately about somebody that wants to harm you – and it being you." After filming it, she said she went into a dark place that revealed to her that she was not done healing.
Thankfully, she now considers herself "a healthy, whole person," thanks in part to "MAYHEM": "One of the things I'm most grateful for is gaining all my artistic faculties back to make this record. I had to dig very, very deep, and I had to change a lot of my life and recenter around what I needed as a human being."
On being in love
Another factor in getting her back on track is her relationship with Michael Polansky, about whom she said, "Being in love with someone that cares about the real me made a very big difference."
It's Polansky who told her she needed to reclaim her music, and in the process, she asked him for his input. Polansky is credited as a co-writer on six "MAYHEM" songs, which surprised him because his contributions were not intentional. "It was very touching to me that she wanted to acknowledge me," he said.
Andrew Watt, a close collaborator through the "MAYHEM" sessions credited Polansky with being a crucial stabilizer in the recording process and said he has "that all-knowing Buddha-type energy."
In turns out she secretly had another business venture with Polansky as she co-founded and sits on the board of directors of Outer Biosciences, a skin-health research firm that Polansky said "was her idea." "When she talks about us being partners, it kind of looks like it all goes one direction, but she's the most incredible support to me as well," he said.
They plan to get married soon, and Gaga added that "being a mom is the thing [she wants] the most."
On the MAYHEM Ball
The narrative of MAYHEM Ball, Gaga's largest and longest tour in a decade, is a dream-logic version of parts of her real life. She broke it down and said the show starts with Mayhem, "the most egocentric side" of her, that announces she's the queen with a desire of torturing the younger version of herself "as a way of teaching her how to be great." The Mayhem character's plan doesn't go as planned, though.
"I decided I wanted to make it something that everybody could understand and love," she said, "and it didn't have to be the most dark thing that I'd ever created. Isn't that Mayhem talking? 'I have to be dark.' And, like, what is that in me that I have to be the toughest or the most edgy?"
While she still panics at the start of every show, but "the rehearsal of self" saves her and puts her back in the moment.
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