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Abandonment issues


dafniye
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Just now, Gagas_artpoptech said:

Omggg thats funny cuz my mom's bday is also In may!!!😭😭tysm I wish the same for you ❤

Haha that's like the opposite for both of us. Thank you. I always cry on my birthdays so I don't know if this year will be any different lol

I actually don't look forward to them anymore because it just becomes a sad day. 

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Just now, dafniye said:

Haha that's like the opposite for both of us. Thank you. I always cry on my birthdays so I don't know if this year will be any different lol

I actually don't look forward to them anymore because it just becomes a sad day. 

Well my birthdays are pretty non existent cuz we can't celebrate birthdays cuz it's a sin apparently 😔. Your 18th bday is very special tho🥺 make it a great day pls

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2 minutes ago, dafniye said:

Haha that's like the opposite for both of us. Thank you. I always cry on my birthdays so I don't know if this year will be any different lol

I actually don't look forward to them anymore because it just becomes a sad day. 

Why do you cry at your birthdays?

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1 minute ago, Gagas_artpoptech said:

Well my birthdays are pretty non existent cuz we can't celebrate birthdays cuz it's a sin apparently 😔. Your 18th bday is very special tho🥺 make it a great day pls

We don't celebrate either. I've never had a birthday party nor proper presents. I sometimes get a cake, sometimes I don't. 

2 minutes ago, Tan Nazlı said:

Why do you cry at your birthdays?

I don't know. The day always turns out horrible. Sometimes my father makes it horrible for me, sometimes life does. Everything goes wrong, sometimes people I expected to remember don't remember.

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2 minutes ago, dafniye said:

We don't celebrate either. I've never had a birthday party nor proper presents. I sometimes get a cake, sometimes I don't. 

I don't know. The day always turns out horrible. Sometimes my father makes it horrible for me, sometimes life does. Everything goes wrong, sometimes people I expected to remember don't remember.

I'm so sorry for you🥺❤. Go do something nice for yourself on your bday this year🥺❤❤❤

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Just now, Gagas_artpoptech said:

I'm so sorry for you🥺❤. Go do something nice for yourself on your bday this year🥺❤❤❤

Thank you. I thought about baking a gaga cake for my birthday this year, inspired by Chromatica. If I do make it and it turns out successful, I'll post it here. 

You should also do something fun for yourself. 17 is a great year to turn to so you should make it memorable. 

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2 minutes ago, dafniye said:

Thank you. I thought about baking a gaga cake for my birthday this year, inspired by Chromatica. If I do make it and it turns out successful, I'll post it here. 

You should also do something fun for yourself. 17 is a great year to turn to so you should make it memorable. 

17 is not that special to me its just 1 year till im.18 for me 18 is the most special birthday ever. Can't wait to see it🥰!!

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On 2/25/2021 at 8:38 AM, dafniye said:

Thank you. I thought about baking a gaga cake for my birthday this year, inspired by Chromatica. If I do make it and it turns out successful, I'll post it here. 

You should also do something fun for yourself. 17 is a great year to turn to so you should make it memorable. 

That’s wonderful! Please take pictures! I hope it you’re out successful! Fingers crossed 🤞 

I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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1 hour ago, tony said:

That’s wonderful! Please take pictures! I hope it you’re out successful! Fingers crossed 🤞 

Thanks! I baked a cake with frosting the first time a few months ago, the taste was great! The appearance tho... Not so much. It resembled the cake gaga baked for Mark Ronson's sister 😂 I have a picture too. 

IMG_20200722_175746.thumb.jpg.818f692906df15eadb02be1d230cf2ee.jpg

Tbh hers is better. Atleast the frosting stayed on for her. Mine was... A complete disaster 💀🤡

But I baked again a couple of days later with some tips I got and the frosting stayed put and it actually looked good too! 

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10 hours ago, dafniye said:

Thanks! I baked a cake with frosting the first time a few months ago, the taste was great! The appearance tho... Not so much. It resembled the cake gaga baked for Mark Ronson's sister 😂 I have a picture too. 

IMG_20200722_175746.thumb.jpg.818f692906df15eadb02be1d230cf2ee.jpg

Tbh hers is better. Atleast the frosting stayed on for her. Mine was... A complete disaster 💀🤡

But I baked again a couple of days later with some tips I got and the frosting stayed put and it actually looked good too! 

But you know, sometimes disasters taste better. I bet both of your cakes were delicious. 

And that Gaga cake always makes me laugh 😂😂😂 I remember I photoshoped Gaga’s photo for my BFF’s face for his birthday. It was so hilarious 😆 

I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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6 hours ago, tony said:

But you know, sometimes disasters taste better. I bet both of your cakes were delicious. 

And that Gaga cake always makes me laugh 😂😂😂 I remember I photoshoped Gaga’s photo for my BFF’s face for his birthday. It was so hilarious 😆 

Aww thank you. It did taste good. I have always wanted to taste gaga's tho. 

Haha that sounds funny. How did you bff react?? 

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On 2/23/2021 at 11:07 AM, dafniye said:

I have huge abandonment issues, and the source is mainly my childhood. 

How do you cope with them? I feel like everyone; my family, my best friend, my other friends are going to leave me one day. Or that the love and affection they show is just for show and tell and a facade.

How do I stop thinking so negatively. I have this nagging thought in my mind that everybody will leave me one day and that in the near future I will be alone. 

I feel you! I grew up with divorced parents that kept tossing me around. Then when I turned 18 my dad kicked me out because of my sexuality. I’ve been struggling with maintaining any kind of relationship because I’m always predicting that people will abandon me. If a friend doesn't text for ex. I automatically assume “they hate me” “they don’t want to be my friends” etc. :(

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2 hours ago, Erosadams said:

I feel you! I grew up with divorced parents that kept tossing me around. Then when I turned 18 my dad kicked me out because of my sexuality. I’ve been struggling with maintaining any kind of relationship because I’m always predicting that people will abandon me. If a friend doesn't text for ex. I automatically assume “they hate me” “they don’t want to be my friends” etc. :(

That sounds horrible. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. I'm proud of who you are now and that you managed to get away from all of that. 

I relate with the messages thing too. If my friends or my partner doesn't initiate the conversation or i feel like their tone is slightly 'off', I start assuming the worst and get myself ready to not have them back in my life. It sucks living like this where I'm paranoid all the time

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3 hours ago, Erosadams said:

I feel you! I grew up with divorced parents that kept tossing me around. Then when I turned 18 my dad kicked me out because of my sexuality. I’ve been struggling with maintaining any kind of relationship because I’m always predicting that people will abandon me. If a friend doesn't text for ex. I automatically assume “they hate me” “they don’t want to be my friends” etc. :(

I understand you completely. Even though my parents are still together, they had problems like any other couple, but since three years ago everything changed horribly and the environment here is not that good. Also they are very conservative and don’t support the LGBT, but they surely know I’m gay, I haven’t came out yet, but they discovered many things I did since I was a teenager. I feel sad that they won’t support and love me for who I am. 

I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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42 minutes ago, tony said:

I understand you completely. Even though my parents are still together, they had problems like any other couple, but since three years ago everything changed horribly and the environment here is not that good. Also they are very conservative and don’t support the LGBT, but they surely know I’m gay, I haven’t came out yet, but they discovered many things I did since I was a teenager. I feel sad that they won’t support and love me for who I am. 

It really sucks having to hide yourself from the people you love the most. Hang in there, someday, maybe they'll accept you. And if they don't, you still have us and the community around you.

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8 hours ago, dafniye said:

It really sucks having to hide yourself from the people you love the most. Hang in there, someday, maybe they'll accept you. And if they don't, you still have us and the community around you.

Yes its horrible to hiding in this world...

 

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I’ve constantly felt neglect from my mother and father. Especially w my mother. Unfortunately, I’ve gotten a pretty young mother, a mother that I grew up with. So growing up, not all was appropriately done. I deal with abandonment issues, I’m now in a relationship that feels like I will be abandoned even thought that’s not the case.

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16 minutes ago, MaulJHolland said:

I’ve constantly felt neglect from my mother and father. Especially w my mother. Unfortunately, I’ve gotten a pretty young mother, a mother that I grew up with. So growing up, not all was appropriately done. I deal with abandonment issues, I’m now in a relationship that feels like I will be abandoned even thought that’s not the case.

It's crazy how our childhood can affect us so badly in our adulthood. Neglect from parents can leave you wondering so many things, mainly that you're not good enough. 

I hope you heal from it and your partner makes you feel reassured ❤️

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17 hours ago, tony said:

I understand you completely. Even though my parents are still together, they had problems like any other couple, but since three years ago everything changed horribly and the environment here is not that good. Also they are very conservative and don’t support the LGBT, but they surely know I’m gay, I haven’t came out yet, but they discovered many things I did since I was a teenager. I feel sad that they won’t support and love me for who I am. 

I know how that feels. I wish I had the answers for you but I feel like s*it every day for not being who my parents probably wanted me to be. 
when I came out I was in 7th grade and I wanted to kill myself... and that was before my dad completely kicked me out, so you can imagine how i feel today after not seeing my dad for 11 years. 

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5 hours ago, Erosadams said:

I know how that feels. I wish I had the answers for you but I feel like s*it every day for not being who my parents probably wanted me to be. 
when I came out I was in 7th grade and I wanted to kill myself... and that was before my dad completely kicked me out, so you can imagine how i feel today after not seeing my dad for 11 years. 

OMG! Are you me? In my case, my mom is not supportive about my sexuality. My dad told me one that he might support me, but my mom refuses to accept me. Even one she sent me a tiktok video of an “ex-gay man” and I felt horrible. This is hard, but you know what, at least we have ourselves. And it’s hard to heal from this, but it’s not impossible. I wish I could hug you right now 😭

I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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