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Abandonment issues


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46 minutes ago, dafniye said:

That's really awful. I hope you're okay now and nothing bad happened to you. Older men often prey on young, unaware children. Disgusting. 

Nothing bad happened I just messed up with some things. But I think I might share that story  with you all on here

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That would be a huge help as I have always wanted to know why he is the way he is. Thanks for the input! ❤️

I have huge abandonment issues, and the source is mainly my childhood.  How do you cope with them? I feel like everyone; my family, my best friend, my other friends are going to leave me one day. Or that the love and affection they show is just for show and tell and a facade. How do I stop thinking so negatively. I have this nagging thought in my mind that everybody will leave me one day and that in the near future I will be alone. 

Thank you. I have found that talking about my problems here gives me quite a relief, so I'm quite happy ❤️   Today and always ❤️

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8 minutes ago, Gagas_artpoptech said:

Nothing bad happened I just messed up with some things. But I think I might share that story  with you all on here

Of course. Whenever you're ready ❤️

We will listen and support you. 

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8 minutes ago, Tan Nazlı said:

Abondenment is bad but it sometimes teaches how to be alone

It has definitely taught me how to be more independent and that loneliness can sometimes be very pleasant. 

If you can bear to be alone with your thoughts and yourself, I think you can face anything. 

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1 hour ago, dafniye said:

That's so sad. The people with childhood neglect can fall into two categories, extreme dependance in the future on others or extreme independence. I'm in the independent end. 

Yes so I think we should all support domestic violence victims and help them get appropriate education so that they can get out of that vicious cycle.

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2 minutes ago, chimera2.0 said:

Yes so I think we should all support domestic violence victims and help them get appropriate education so that they can get out of that vicious cycle.

Mostly people don't share their experiences or speak up about it because they're ashamed or want to protect the ones who caused them harm. It's all very complicated. 

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1 minute ago, taygerm said:

Frankly, I'm afraid to tell about the things I've been through I've had bad things and I don't want to remember

Me too. I also get ashamed and sometimes feel like it was my fault. That's why getting a therapist seems very uncomfortable to me because talking about it would make it very real and I'm not ready for that. 

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7 minutes ago, dafniye said:

Me too. I also get ashamed and sometimes feel like it was my fault. That's why getting a therapist seems very uncomfortable to me because talking about it would make it very real and I'm not ready for that. 

And sometimes we tend to change memories in our minds because of how hurtful they are

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1 minute ago, Tan Nazlı said:

And sometimes we tend to change memories in our minds because of how hurtful they are

Yes that too! I have a lot of repressed memories from childhood and early teenage years. I don't remember much from 11-14 age.

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21 minutes ago, dafniye said:

Mostly people don't share their experiences or speak up about it because they're ashamed or want to protect the ones who caused them harm. It's all very complicated. 

I understand. The abusers are who close to them so it's very hard to open up. So it's up to theirs friends, neighbors or other relatives. 

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Just now, chimera2.0 said:

I understand. The abusers are who close to them so it's very hard to open up. So it's up to theirs friends, neighbors or other relatives. 

Yes. And sometimes even if you get help, you get defensive, one; because of shame. Two; because of worry that the abuser will find out. Three; guilt over ruining the abuser's life if they do get caught. 

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Just now, Tan Nazlı said:

Especially if you lost a family member at a young age, abondenment issues might start as you grow older

I think childhood can really f*ck you up if you're not given the proper care. It can create so many problems in adulthood. This is why life is so unfair, because most of us don't get the headstart of a nurturing environment from the beginning. 

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Just now, dafniye said:

I think childhood can really f*ck you up if you're not given the proper care. It can create so many problems in adulthood. This is why life is so unfair, because most of us don't get the headstart of a nurturing environment from the beginning. 

You are totally right, even if you are given the proper care sometimes bad things can still happen or you might still feel unworthy and sad

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On 2/23/2021 at 11:18 AM, Adeline said:

I know exactly the feeling... 

But bot with my family I know they gonna be always around. But with friends I feel the same.  For me its because I have been disappointed and betrayed so much by people. I never had chance with people that why today I'm really isolated , unfortunately I give up on having real friends or having a girlfriend   I rather be alone than to be hurt again but I'm a wrong example lol

I feel the same as you🥺

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4 minutes ago, Tan Nazlı said:

You are totally right, even if you are given the proper care sometimes bad things can still happen or you might still feel unworthy and sad

True. We should look out for signs of abuse in homes of friends, family and neighbors. We never really know what goes behind the doors. 

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3 minutes ago, dafniye said:

Yes. And sometimes even if you get help, you get defensive, one; because of shame. Two; because of worry that the abuser will find out. Three; guilt over ruining the abuser's life if they do get caught. 

The guilt they have for the abuser is definitely the most difficult part or even in some case they are being abused without recognize it. It's a very serious problem and should not be underestimated.

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Just now, dafniye said:

True. We should look out for signs of abuse in homes of friends, family and neighbors. We never really know what goes behind the doors. 

It’s important that each person should try take care of themselves, make sure they are understanding themselves

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Just now, chimera2.0 said:

The guilt they have for the abuser is definitely the most difficult part or even in some case they are being abused without recognize it. It's a very serious problem and should not be underestimated.

Yeah. On one hand you want to get help and get better, but on the other hand you feel like a bad person and feel likr you'd ruin their life. It's so complicated and so hard for the victim. 

1 minute ago, Tan Nazlı said:

It’s important that each person should try take care of themselves, make sure they are understanding themselves

It's not always possible to look out for ourselves. And sometimes, like @chimera2.0said, the victim doesn't even know that they're being abused. It's a sad situation all around

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1 minute ago, dafniye said:

Yeah. On one hand you want to get help and get better, but on the other hand you feel like a bad person and feel likr you'd ruin their life. It's so complicated and so hard for the victim. 

That’s a very complicated and bad situation 

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3 hours ago, Tan Nazlı said:

It’s important that each person should try take care of themselves, make sure they are understanding themselves

I agree

3 hours ago, taygerm said:

I guess these are not our fault. Anyway, let's not think about these bad things. Let's think positive!

Yes only positivity here🥺

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