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Abandonment issues


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3 hours ago, dafniye said:

I still can't stand mine and he's trying to mend the relationship too. Seems like you and me have a lot in common lol

I'm glad your relationship is better with him now tho. 

Well , he wasn't the problem really, it was the both of us,it came from me too , I can't say that we a great relationship but I can talk with him a little and be near him for a couple of days lol

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That would be a huge help as I have always wanted to know why he is the way he is. Thanks for the input! ❤️

I have huge abandonment issues, and the source is mainly my childhood.  How do you cope with them? I feel like everyone; my family, my best friend, my other friends are going to leave me one day. Or that the love and affection they show is just for show and tell and a facade. How do I stop thinking so negatively. I have this nagging thought in my mind that everybody will leave me one day and that in the near future I will be alone. 

Thank you. I have found that talking about my problems here gives me quite a relief, so I'm quite happy ❤️   Today and always ❤️

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1 hour ago, Adeline said:

Well , he wasn't the problem really, it was the both of us,it came from me too , I can't say that we a great relationship but I can talk with him a little and be near him for a couple of days lol

Hmm baby steps. 

Mine definitely came from him, I was a child so I don't know what he expected me to do, but yeah. 

I'm glad it's bearable at least. 

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19 minutes ago, dafniye said:

Hmm baby steps. 

Mine definitely came from him, I was a child so I don't know what he expected me to do, but yeah. 

I'm glad it's bearable at least. 

You know,  my psychologist tell me something who helped me a lot , but I'm careful when I say that because it's my experience, but she said to me that I don't have to love him,  that it's ok not to, I didn't choose him , my mom did , she made me close my eyes and said things I would like to say to him at loud like he was in the room, it was really hard to do but it helped me getting out some things out of my chest.  But again,  it's my personal experience,  and my therapy. I was followed. It's a long  process  

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4 hours ago, Adeline said:

You know,  my psychologist tell me something who helped me a lot , but I'm careful when I say that because it's my experience, but she said to me that I don't have to love him,  that it's ok not to, I didn't choose him , my mom did , she made me close my eyes and said things I would like to say to him at loud like he was in the room, it was really hard to do but it helped me getting out some things out of my chest.  But again,  it's my personal experience,  and my therapy. I was followed. It's a long  process  

You know what, thanks for sharing it. I think I'm going to try that. I once tried talking to the mirror about things that happened to me as a child and I ended up bursting into tears and couldn't continue anynore afterwards, so I don't know how I would react if I did it pretending that I was saying all that to him. But I'm definitely giving it a shot. 

And the love part, that's such a comfort to hear. Because sometimes I feel guilty for not having any feelings of affection towards him. 

26 minutes ago, Tan Nazlı said:

I wish we could change the topic to Abondonment and Commitment issues, cuz they originate from very similar traumas and they are two different issues people who had great losses deal with...

I don't think I can change that but if a mod can then please go ahead. 

12 minutes ago, Gagas_artpoptech said:

Unfortunately some people will leave but some people will stay. Don't be upset over the ones that left cuz they were not real anyways. Your parents will never leave im sure they love you sooo much so don't think that🥺❤.

Thabk you for saying that. I'm going to try and remember that and keep repeating it in my head when I have an episode again. 

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7 minutes ago, dafniye said:

You know what, thanks for sharing it. I think I'm going to try that. I once tried talking to the mirror about things that happened to me as a child and I ended up bursting into tears and couldn't continue anynore afterwards, so I don't know how I would react if I did it pretending that I was saying all that to him. But I'm definitely giving it a shot. 

And the love part, that's such a comfort to hear. Because sometimes I feel guilty for not having any feelings of affection towards him. 

I don't think I can change that but if a mod can then please go ahead. 

Thabk you for saying that. I'm going to try and remember that and keep repeating it in my head when I have an episode again. 

Do what ever feels like helping you🥺❤. Remember we are all here for you if you want to talk ❤❤

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4 minutes ago, Gagas_artpoptech said:

Do what ever feels like helping you🥺❤. Remember we are all here for you if you want to talk ❤❤

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️

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11 hours ago, Adeline said:

You know,  my psychologist tell me something who helped me a lot , but I'm careful when I say that because it's my experience, but she said to me that I don't have to love him,  that it's ok not to, I didn't choose him , my mom did , she made me close my eyes and said things I would like to say to him at loud like he was in the room, it was really hard to do but it helped me getting out some things out of my chest.  But again,  it's my personal experience,  and my therapy. I was followed. It's a long  process  

Sending loves. Wish you the power to make your choices independently!

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9 hours ago, dafniye said:

You know what, thanks for sharing it. I think I'm going to try that. I once tried talking to the mirror about things that happened to me as a child and I ended up bursting into tears and couldn't continue anynore afterwards, so I don't know how I would react if I did it pretending that I was saying all that to him. But I'm definitely giving it a shot. 

And the love part, that's such a comfort to hear. Because sometimes I feel guilty for not having any feelings of affection towards him. 

I hope it will help you, but it is better with support.  My therapist also help me to understand his behaviour,  why he was acting like that and I understand certain things. 

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20 hours ago, dafniye said:

I have huge abandonment issues, and the source is mainly my childhood. 

How do you cope with them? I feel like everyone; my family, my best friend, my other friends are going to leave me one day. Or that the love and affection they show is just for show and tell and a facade.

How do I stop thinking so negatively. I have this nagging thought in my mind that everybody will leave me one day and that in the near future I will be alone. 

One of my biggest fears is to be alone for the rest of my life. 
I don’t have a boyfriend right now, I’ve never had one, because I would always think about abandoning me 

Lady's got a killer groove, and you've got a lot to lose

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21 hours ago, dafniye said:

I have huge abandonment issues, and the source is mainly my childhood. 

How do you cope with them? I feel like everyone; my family, my best friend, my other friends are going to leave me one day. Or that the love and affection they show is just for show and tell and a facade.

How do I stop thinking so negatively. I have this nagging thought in my mind that everybody will leave me one day and that in the near future I will be alone. 

Hope you find people who will help you change the way you feel about this! ❤️

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1 hour ago, tony said:

One of my biggest fears is to be alone for the rest of my life. 
I don’t have a boyfriend right now, I’ve never had one, because I would always think about abandoning me 

I also feel the same way. I'm currently talking to a guy, I do like him, but I don't want to commit because I know he'll leave. I was just talking to my best friend the other day and I said I'm going to be so sad when he leaves and she said how do you know he will? Maybe he won't? And I said I just know that he will.

I hope it gets better for you, and you find a loving person who assures you all the time with love ❤️

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1 hour ago, Adeline said:

I hope it will help you, but it is better with support.  My therapist also help me to understand his behaviour,  why he was acting like that and I understand certain things. 

That would be a huge help as I have always wanted to know why he is the way he is. Thanks for the input! ❤️

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