Adeline 349 Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 (edited) 3 hours ago, dafniye said: I still can't stand mine and he's trying to mend the relationship too. Seems like you and me have a lot in common lol I'm glad your relationship is better with him now tho. Well , he wasn't the problem really, it was the both of us,it came from me too , I can't say that we a great relationship but I can talk with him a little and be near him for a couple of days lol Edited February 23 by Adeline Link to post Share on other sites
dafniye 155 Posted February 23 Author Share Posted February 23 1 hour ago, Adeline said: Well , he wasn't the problem really, it was the both of us,it came from me too , I can't say that we a great relationship but I can talk with him a little and be near him for a couple of days lol Hmm baby steps. Mine definitely came from him, I was a child so I don't know what he expected me to do, but yeah. I'm glad it's bearable at least. Link to post Share on other sites
Adeline 349 Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 19 minutes ago, dafniye said: Hmm baby steps. Mine definitely came from him, I was a child so I don't know what he expected me to do, but yeah. I'm glad it's bearable at least. You know, my psychologist tell me something who helped me a lot , but I'm careful when I say that because it's my experience, but she said to me that I don't have to love him, that it's ok not to, I didn't choose him , my mom did , she made me close my eyes and said things I would like to say to him at loud like he was in the room, it was really hard to do but it helped me getting out some things out of my chest. But again, it's my personal experience, and my therapy. I was followed. It's a long process Link to post Share on other sites
Tan Nazlı 0 Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 I wish we could change the topic to Abondonment and Commitment issues, cuz they originate from very similar traumas and they are two different issues people who had great losses deal with... Link to post Share on other sites
Gagas_artpoptech 20 Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 Unfortunately some people will leave but some people will stay. Don't be upset over the ones that left cuz they were not real anyways. Your parents will never leave im sure they love you sooo much so don't think that🥺❤. Link to post Share on other sites
dafniye 155 Posted February 23 Author Share Posted February 23 4 hours ago, Adeline said: You know, my psychologist tell me something who helped me a lot , but I'm careful when I say that because it's my experience, but she said to me that I don't have to love him, that it's ok not to, I didn't choose him , my mom did , she made me close my eyes and said things I would like to say to him at loud like he was in the room, it was really hard to do but it helped me getting out some things out of my chest. But again, it's my personal experience, and my therapy. I was followed. It's a long process You know what, thanks for sharing it. I think I'm going to try that. I once tried talking to the mirror about things that happened to me as a child and I ended up bursting into tears and couldn't continue anynore afterwards, so I don't know how I would react if I did it pretending that I was saying all that to him. But I'm definitely giving it a shot. And the love part, that's such a comfort to hear. Because sometimes I feel guilty for not having any feelings of affection towards him. 26 minutes ago, Tan Nazlı said: I wish we could change the topic to Abondonment and Commitment issues, cuz they originate from very similar traumas and they are two different issues people who had great losses deal with... I don't think I can change that but if a mod can then please go ahead. 12 minutes ago, Gagas_artpoptech said: Unfortunately some people will leave but some people will stay. Don't be upset over the ones that left cuz they were not real anyways. Your parents will never leave im sure they love you sooo much so don't think that🥺❤. Thabk you for saying that. I'm going to try and remember that and keep repeating it in my head when I have an episode again. Link to post Share on other sites
Gagas_artpoptech 20 Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 7 minutes ago, dafniye said: You know what, thanks for sharing it. I think I'm going to try that. I once tried talking to the mirror about things that happened to me as a child and I ended up bursting into tears and couldn't continue anynore afterwards, so I don't know how I would react if I did it pretending that I was saying all that to him. But I'm definitely giving it a shot. And the love part, that's such a comfort to hear. Because sometimes I feel guilty for not having any feelings of affection towards him. I don't think I can change that but if a mod can then please go ahead. Thabk you for saying that. I'm going to try and remember that and keep repeating it in my head when I have an episode again. Do what ever feels like helping you🥺❤. Remember we are all here for you if you want to talk ❤❤ Link to post Share on other sites
dafniye 155 Posted February 23 Author Share Posted February 23 4 minutes ago, Gagas_artpoptech said: Do what ever feels like helping you🥺❤. Remember we are all here for you if you want to talk ❤❤ Thank you ❤️❤️❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
Gagas_artpoptech 20 Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 1 minute ago, dafniye said: Thank you ❤️❤️❤️ Yw stay strong❤❤ Link to post Share on other sites
dafniye 155 Posted February 23 Author Share Posted February 23 7 minutes ago, Gagas_artpoptech said: Yw stay strong❤❤ With all of you around, sure ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
Judas 26 Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 6 minutes ago, dafniye said: With all of you around, sure ❤️ everyone is here for you ! Link to post Share on other sites
dafniye 155 Posted February 23 Author Share Posted February 23 Just now, Judas said: everyone is here for you ! And I am here too. It goes both ways ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
Judas 26 Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 1 minute ago, dafniye said: And I am here too. It goes both ways ❤️ yes we can all support eachother Link to post Share on other sites
chimera2.0 35 Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 11 hours ago, Adeline said: You know, my psychologist tell me something who helped me a lot , but I'm careful when I say that because it's my experience, but she said to me that I don't have to love him, that it's ok not to, I didn't choose him , my mom did , she made me close my eyes and said things I would like to say to him at loud like he was in the room, it was really hard to do but it helped me getting out some things out of my chest. But again, it's my personal experience, and my therapy. I was followed. It's a long process Sending loves. Wish you the power to make your choices independently! Link to post Share on other sites
Gagas_artpoptech 20 Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 6 hours ago, dafniye said: With all of you around, sure ❤️ Aww🥺❤ Link to post Share on other sites
Adeline 349 Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 9 hours ago, dafniye said: You know what, thanks for sharing it. I think I'm going to try that. I once tried talking to the mirror about things that happened to me as a child and I ended up bursting into tears and couldn't continue anynore afterwards, so I don't know how I would react if I did it pretending that I was saying all that to him. But I'm definitely giving it a shot. And the love part, that's such a comfort to hear. Because sometimes I feel guilty for not having any feelings of affection towards him. I hope it will help you, but it is better with support. My therapist also help me to understand his behaviour, why he was acting like that and I understand certain things. Link to post Share on other sites
tony 408 Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 20 hours ago, dafniye said: I have huge abandonment issues, and the source is mainly my childhood. How do you cope with them? I feel like everyone; my family, my best friend, my other friends are going to leave me one day. Or that the love and affection they show is just for show and tell and a facade. How do I stop thinking so negatively. I have this nagging thought in my mind that everybody will leave me one day and that in the near future I will be alone. One of my biggest fears is to be alone for the rest of my life. I don’t have a boyfriend right now, I’ve never had one, because I would always think about abandoning me Lady's got a killer groove, and you've got a lot to lose Link to post Share on other sites
Tan Nazlı 0 Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 21 hours ago, dafniye said: I have huge abandonment issues, and the source is mainly my childhood. How do you cope with them? I feel like everyone; my family, my best friend, my other friends are going to leave me one day. Or that the love and affection they show is just for show and tell and a facade. How do I stop thinking so negatively. I have this nagging thought in my mind that everybody will leave me one day and that in the near future I will be alone. Hope you find people who will help you change the way you feel about this! ❤️ Link to post Share on other sites
dafniye 155 Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 4 hours ago, Gagas_artpoptech said: Aww🥺❤ I mean, it's true 🥺❤️ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tan Nazlı 0 Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 People who have abondenment issues often have commitment issues too... Link to post Share on other sites
dafniye 155 Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 1 hour ago, tony said: One of my biggest fears is to be alone for the rest of my life. I don’t have a boyfriend right now, I’ve never had one, because I would always think about abandoning me I also feel the same way. I'm currently talking to a guy, I do like him, but I don't want to commit because I know he'll leave. I was just talking to my best friend the other day and I said I'm going to be so sad when he leaves and she said how do you know he will? Maybe he won't? And I said I just know that he will. I hope it gets better for you, and you find a loving person who assures you all the time with love ❤️ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tan Nazlı 0 Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 A lot of people fear being alone actually Link to post Share on other sites
dafniye 155 Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 1 hour ago, Adeline said: I hope it will help you, but it is better with support. My therapist also help me to understand his behaviour, why he was acting like that and I understand certain things. That would be a huge help as I have always wanted to know why he is the way he is. Thanks for the input! ❤️ 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tan Nazlı 0 Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 5 minutes ago, taygerm said: we will always support each other! Always Link to post Share on other sites
dafniye 155 Posted February 24 Author Share Posted February 24 18 minutes ago, Tan Nazlı said: Hope you find people who will help you change the way you feel about this! ❤️ Thank you! I hope so too ❤️ 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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