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Compulsive buying and remorse


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In college, I get a scholarship for good academic performance and I want to save money. However, all the time I see something cool to buy that I want to have and I buy so everything. In the end, I don't save the money and I feel remorse that I spent money again on things I don't need and then I don't use them. When I buy a new thing, I again look at how much I've already spent this month and the guilt sets in again. I feel bad that the urge to buy suddenly is stronger than the urge to save. I've also noticed that at times when I have no income, I don't spend money on unnecessary things. I notice this phenomenon in myself when I have "too much" money. This need to buy is sudden. I don't really know how not to buy things when I just have the thought that I want to have them....

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Maybe just walk around second hand stores and then you will have something new, but for little money. Also, try to make a list of things you definitely need, such as new shoes for spring, because the previous ones broke, a handbag if it got damaged, and if there are no such things that are necessary, then maybe when you see with the naked eye, e.g. summarize on a piece of paper, how many jackets, pants, etc. you will see that there is no need to buy anything. Of the pleasures, bet on those cheap ones like hair mask and mask, skin care, but without buying a thousand gadgets for it. 

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2 minutes ago, falajaga said:

Maybe just walk around second hand stores and then you will have something new, but for little money. Also, try to make a list of things you definitely need, such as new shoes for spring, because the previous ones broke, a handbag if it got damaged, and if there are no such things that are necessary, then maybe when you see with the naked eye, e.g. summarize on a piece of paper, how many jackets, pants, etc. you will see that there is no need to buy anything. Of the pleasures, bet on those cheap ones like hair mask and mask, skin care, but without buying a thousand gadgets for it. 

Something about it. But it's not just about clothes shopping. Often I just see a nice thing, like a nicely published book or a special edition of some album, and I just can't contain myself. If I don't buy it, I regret that I didn't buy it and if I do buy it, I feel sorry for the money. I don't know who I should talk to about this...

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2 minutes ago, devillenter said:

Something about it. But it's not just about clothes shopping. Often I just see a nice thing, like a nicely published book or a special edition of some album, and I just can't contain myself. If I don't buy it, I regret that I didn't buy it and if I do buy it, I feel sorry for the money. I don't know who I should talk to about this...

It must be pretty heavy... Maybe try talking to someone close to you who knows you. Or when going shopping don't do it alone. Take a friend who will keep an eye on you and help you evaluate if you need to buy something or not :)

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2 minutes ago, falajaga said:

It must be pretty heavy... Maybe try talking to someone close to you who knows you. Or when going shopping don't do it alone. Take a friend who will keep an eye on you and help you evaluate if you need to buy something or not :)

You're right. This is a fairly simple solution and maybe it will help me. 

But I still wonder if no one really feels like me and has these problems....

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Hi! I also felt the same way last year when I had nothing to cope with COVID-19. This January, I put my money on less accessible online bank so I won't spend the money easily. I still do spend money on some luxury but I try hold on buying it for one or two weeks to see if I really want it hehe. If it helps, maybe using finance apps like Fortune City can help you! It's a cute sim city-like app that rewards you buildings for savings <3 

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10 minutes ago, artpopulace said:

Hi! I also felt the same way last year when I had nothing to cope with COVID-19. This January, I put my money on less accessible online bank so I won't spend the money easily. I still do spend money on some luxury but I try hold on buying it for one or two weeks to see if I really want it hehe. If it helps, maybe using finance apps like Fortune City can help you! It's a cute sim city-like app that rewards you buildings for savings <3 

Thank you for sharing your experience. I have never heard of this app but I will definitely try it out, thanks! 

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2 hours ago, devillenter said:

In college, I get a scholarship for good academic performance and I want to save money. However, all the time I see something cool to buy that I want to have and I buy so everything. In the end, I don't save the money and I feel remorse that I spent money again on things I don't need and then I don't use them. When I buy a new thing, I again look at how much I've already spent this month and the guilt sets in again. I feel bad that the urge to buy suddenly is stronger than the urge to save. I've also noticed that at times when I have no income, I don't spend money on unnecessary things. I notice this phenomenon in myself when I have "too much" money. This need to buy is sudden. I don't really know how not to buy things when I just have the thought that I want to have them....

I’m a compulsive buyer too. Since ever. I’ve bought so many stuff in my life. Specially cds. I’ve bought cds from other artists I regret a lot. And I’ve been trying to sell them. Thankfully I don’t have a credit card anymore since two years. So, now I only buy things with the money I have. 

Lady's got a killer groove, and you've got a lot to lose

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22 minutes ago, tony said:

I’m a compulsive buyer too. Since ever. I’ve bought so many stuff in my life. Specially cds. I’ve bought cds from other artists I regret a lot. And I’ve been trying to sell them. Thankfully I don’t have a credit card anymore since two years. So, now I only buy things with the money I have. 

I've been considering getting a credit card, mainly to get cash back on many purchases. Luckily I didn't take advantage of this offer, knowing my tendency to make quick and inconsiderate purchases I would have gone into debt lol I also can't resist buying cds when there's a sale. I buy as many as possible....

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Just now, devillenter said:

I've been considering getting a credit card, mainly to get cash back on many purchases. Luckily I didn't take advantage of this offer, knowing my tendency to make quick and inconsiderate purchases I would have gone into debt lol I also can't resist buying cds when there's a sale. I buy as many as possible....

If you get a credit card, please be responsible. Having one is a nightmare if you have a big debt. I’m telling you because I had a dark time with credit cards. 

Lady's got a killer groove, and you've got a lot to lose

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1 minute ago, tony said:

If you get a credit card, please be responsible. Having one is a nightmare if you have a big debt. I’m telling you because I had a dark time with credit cards. 

I'm not going to get involved in that for now. But I will remember your advice in the future!

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9 minutes ago, devillenter said:

I'm not going to get involved in that for now. But I will remember your advice in the future!

Thank you 🙏🏻😊

Lady's got a killer groove, and you've got a lot to lose

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Maybe you can try to find a job... I think earning your money working could make you control it somehow. When you see how hard it is to earn them you automatically would start thinking twice before buying something that you may not need :)

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3 hours ago, gia said:

Maybe you can try to find a job... I think earning your money working could make you control it somehow. When you see how hard it is to earn them you automatically would start thinking twice before buying something that you may not need :)

Exactly. I have to get a job too. In my country it’s pretty hard. But I have to find a job. 

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Lady's got a killer groove, and you've got a lot to lose

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8 hours ago, gia said:

Maybe you can try to find a job... I think earning your money working could make you control it somehow. When you see how hard it is to earn them you automatically would start thinking twice before buying something that you may not need :)

I actually have a job. I mean, I am a student, but my classes are only 4 days a week, so I have time to work on weekends. It's not like I get money from someone and I can flaunt it around haha

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3 hours ago, devillenter said:

I actually have a job. I mean, I am a student, but my classes are only 4 days a week, so I have time to work on weekends. It's not like I get money from someone and I can flaunt it around haha

I didn't mean that. But sometimes putting effort to achieve something makes you value it in a different way and as you talked about a scholarship, I supposed you did not have a job :)

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6 hours ago, devillenter said:

I actually have a job. I mean, I am a student, but my classes are only 4 days a week, so I have time to work on weekends. It's not like I get money from someone and I can flaunt it around haha

So, you must organize your earnings and start saving money for the future. 

Lady's got a killer groove, and you've got a lot to lose

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59 minutes ago, devillenter said:

That is exactly what I will do, thank you!

Anytime  

Lady's got a killer groove, and you've got a lot to lose

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On 2/14/2021 at 12:20 PM, devillenter said:

Something about it. But it's not just about clothes shopping. Often I just see a nice thing, like a nicely published book or a special edition of some album, and I just can't contain myself. If I don't buy it, I regret that I didn't buy it and if I do buy it, I feel sorry for the money. I don't know who I should talk to about this...

This is exactly how I feel. I always feel regret if I don't buy the latest special edition of a vinyl.

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I'm a compulsive spender too. 

What I've found is that when I have more money, the urge to spend it increases. If I am, say, about to go broke, I become more conscious of my spendings and limit it to necessities only. 

Try it this way, take a huge chunk of your money/paycheck and put it somewhere safe. Condition your mind to think that it's for emergencies only, and then allow yourself to spend the rest. This way you will spend too, but will also have saved. 

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I have the same problem too. I used to buy anything I loved at first look and then found it completely unnecessary in the next few days. So whenever I want to buy something, I always wait for 3-4 days and decide if I still want to buy or not. That has helped me a lot.

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Just now, chimera2.0 said:

I have the same problem too. I used to buy anything I loved at first look and then found it completely unnecessary in the next few days. So whenever I want to buy something, I always wait for 3-4 days and decide if I still want to buy or not. That has helped me a lot.

That's a great advice tbh. I will think about that too the next time I find some stupid sh*t I want to buy

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