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Imposter Syndrome


Leography
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Hi guys, Hope you're well and dandy (well, as much as we can in 2021)

I wanted to discuss one issue that is affecting me A LOT, and I'm sure a lot of you as well.

I suffer from a HUGE case of imposter syndrom. For those of you who don't know about it,  it's a pathological way of doubting and refusing any personal accomplishement. I believe it's deeply rooted in my lack of self-esteem (probably born of years of bullying and impossibility to meet society's standards in pretty much every area, but that's another topic) and since I started my current job, almost four years ago now, it's been a nightmare.

It came to a point were I had nervous breakdowns because while I can see I'm doing ok, I keep telling myself I'm getting let go the first chance they'll get. There's always this voice telling me that I'm not enough, that I'll never be, and shouldn't even try, because, really, what's the point? So Indeed, I don't try hard enough, because I'm so scared. It's a really paralysing mindset, even physically sometimes.

So my question is, if you suffer from that, do you have any coping mechanism, tricks, anything to help you moving forward and not being stuck? 

I'm sorry for such a downer post, with probably Sh*t tons of typos, but it's past midnight here, and I really wanted to get that off my chest.

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44 minutes ago, Leography said:

Hi guys, Hope you're well and dandy (well, as much as we can in 2021)

I wanted to discuss one issue that is affecting me A LOT, and I'm sure a lot of you as well.

I suffer from a HUGE case of imposter syndrom. For those of you who don't know about it,  it's a pathological way of doubting and refusing any personal accomplishement. I believe it's deeply rooted in my lack of self-esteem (probably born of years of bullying and impossibility to meet society's standards in pretty much every area, but that's another topic) and since I started my current job, almost four years ago now, it's been a nightmare.

It came to a point were I had nervous breakdowns because while I can see I'm doing ok, I keep telling myself I'm getting let go the first chance they'll get. There's always this voice telling me that I'm not enough, that I'll never be, and shouldn't even try, because, really, what's the point? So Indeed, I don't try hard enough, because I'm so scared. It's a really paralysing mindset, even physically sometimes.

So my question is, if you suffer from that, do you have any coping mechanism, tricks, anything to help you moving forward and not being stuck? 

I'm sorry for such a downer post, with probably Sh*t tons of typos, but it's past midnight here, and I really wanted to get that off my chest.

OMG 😱 I read more of this on Wikipedia and I’m shocked. I really identify a little bit, because I didn’t feel victorious when I graduated from college, I felt like a fraud. But it only happened me with that. 
 

Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. ❤️ We love you, and keep going, you’re strong. 

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I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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Damn...I’m really really sorry Leo. I wonder if this situation is just another side of that fear of not being accepted that you mentioned before. In that case, my only suggestion would be to try to ignore the looks and the comments of people, because at the end of the day, you and you only know how much you value and all the shit you’ve been going trough. You are a survivor, and people with a brave heart like you are the strongest. For the few occasions that we spoke here, I managed to understood how smart and resourceful you are, a kind and rare soul that I definitely appreciate to have around. Just try to go easier on yourself, there is no need to make a war with yourself; the world out there is already hard enough on its own. I’m sure you’ll discover how much your life will improve if your replace the “is not enough” with “its ok, I can do better, but it’s ok.”. The difference is that in the second case, you acknowledge your limits but you still value your efforts.

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9 hours ago, Leography said:

Hi guys, Hope you're well and dandy (well, as much as we can in 2021)

I wanted to discuss one issue that is affecting me A LOT, and I'm sure a lot of you as well.

I suffer from a HUGE case of imposter syndrom. For those of you who don't know about it,  it's a pathological way of doubting and refusing any personal accomplishement. I believe it's deeply rooted in my lack of self-esteem (probably born of years of bullying and impossibility to meet society's standards in pretty much every area, but that's another topic) and since I started my current job, almost four years ago now, it's been a nightmare.

It came to a point were I had nervous breakdowns because while I can see I'm doing ok, I keep telling myself I'm getting let go the first chance they'll get. There's always this voice telling me that I'm not enough, that I'll never be, and shouldn't even try, because, really, what's the point? So Indeed, I don't try hard enough, because I'm so scared. It's a really paralysing mindset, even physically sometimes.

So my question is, if you suffer from that, do you have any coping mechanism, tricks, anything to help you moving forward and not being stuck? 

I'm sorry for such a downer post, with probably Sh*t tons of typos, but it's past midnight here, and I really wanted to get that off my 

 Hi, I'm sorry for you that you have to live with those bad thoughts. I'm not familiar with this syndrome but I know about having a low self esteem. I think if you have the same job since 4 years now you must doing a good job. You need to focus on the tangible things.  4 years it's a big deal , it means you're must be good at what you're doing. You have qualities,  hang on on that and dont pay attention to anybody who might think other way , only your opinion matters and your loved ones.  I was in a toxic relationship for years beeing bullied all the time and now it's a real strength because my head is strong ,nothing reaches me if it doesn't come from someone who I care about the opinion, or just for a minute and I move on. 
My advice is only trust the opinion of the people who love you and know you. And f**k the others opinions they dont matter. 

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Thanks @tony @Matt @Adeline for your answers. It's a pretty horrible thing to live with, and believe me, I KNOW that all you said it's true, but the voice telling me otherwise is often louder. But regardless, it felt good to get it off my chest, and read your kind words. ❤️ God knows y'all make more sense than I do haha

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29 minutes ago, Leography said:

Thanks @tony @Matt @Adeline for your answers. It's a pretty horrible thing to live with, and believe me, I KNOW that all you said it's true, but the voice telling me otherwise is often louder. But regardless, it felt good to get it off my chest, and read your kind words. ❤️ God knows y'all make more sense than I do haha

It's okay to not being okay sometimes,  she told us that. It's a long battle,  with a lot a little steps.  Hang on to the positive things ❤

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Your text isn't loaded with sh*t tons of typos! I actually think your English is really good (and I'm obsessed with languages haha).

Thank you for your bravery to share something so personal.

I didn't know that feeling/behaviour had a name. I know it's hard to believe other people's words until yourself actually starts believing those things. Even if I have ups and downs I don't think I can say I suffer from the same so I won't tell you I can relate to you. However, I did have to deal with acceptance and self-esteem. I think what you feel is closely related to your lack (or previous lack) of self-esteem. I was always a bit "weird" at school (now I don't think I was weird, I just always liked to do my things in my own way, have my hobbies that often didn't align with the average 15yo girl). I always loved to share what I used to love and do and often people wouldn't understand and drag me for those things. So I stopped sharing them, but kept on doing them. Because they made me happy!

Anyway, as soon as I turned 18 I did my first travel. I started working 2 years before to save up money and pay for my trip (to South America) as my family wasn't happy with the idea of me going to the other side of the world. I had never taken a plane before. Never lived in a big city before, never seen a subway, never had a stopover, never stayed away from my family for more than a week. I landed to Buenos Aires and spent a month there. Just living my dream. That travel completely changed me. It pushed me to keep travelling, it opened my eyes to the world, it made me change my mind about what career to pursue at University and most important thing, it showed me that I was NOT weird, at all! That everything is subjective, everything changes, people are beautifully diverse. That what is "normal" for me, is "weird" for others and vice versa. I grew up so much in just a month! And doing everything by myself showed me how much I can achieve just with my own strenght (and everybody can). I never stopped travelling since then and every time I try to leave with less stuff.

If you weren't worth it, you wouldn't be where you are now. And if you don't like where you are, you can move forward. I know sometimes it's about small things (and I still struggle with anxiety and ego control: sometimes I'm too hard on myself) but it's an ongoing process and as long as you know your worth, you can keep on working on other things. 

I don't know what your job is or your life in general but my suggestion is: pack up your bag and go somewhere far away. If you need advice for travelling with no (or not much) money I can help you! Every time I lose myself I find my backpack and leave. I know it can sound utopic because maybe you have a good job or you are afraid of "wasting time" but trust me, your happiness is the most important thing and travelling helped me believe in myself and shape who I am.

I send you a big hug 🤍

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3 minutes ago, gia said:

Your text isn't loaded with sh*t tons of typos! I actually think your English is really good (and I'm obsessed with languages haha).

Thank you for your bravery to share something so personal.

I didn't know that feeling/behaviour had a name. I know it's hard to believe other people's words until yourself actually starts believing those things. Even if I have ups and downs I don't think I can say I suffer from the same so I won't tell you I can relate to you. However, I did have to deal with acceptance and self-esteem. I think what you feel is closely related to your lack (or previous lack) of self-esteem. I was always a bit "weird" at school (now I don't think I was weird, I just always liked to do my things in my own way, have my hobbies that often didn't align with the average 15yo girl). I always loved to share what I used to love and do and often people wouldn't understand and drag me for those things. So I stopped sharing them, but kept on doing them. Because they made me happy!

Anyway, as soon as I turned 18 I did my first travel. I started working 2 years before to save up money and pay for my trip (to South America) as my family wasn't happy with the idea of me going to the other side of the world. I had never taken a plane before. Never lived in a big city before, never seen a subway, never had a stopover, never stayed away from my family for more than a week. I landed to Buenos Aires and spent a month there. Just living my dream. That travel completely changed me. It pushed me to keep travelling, it opened my eyes to the world, it made me change my mind about what career to pursue at University and most important thing, it showed me that I was NOT weird, at all! That everything is subjective, everything changes, people are beautifully diverse. That what is "normal" for me, is "weird" for others and vice versa. I grew up so much in just a month! And doing everything by myself showed me how much I can achieve just with my own strenght (and everybody can). I never stopped travelling since then and every time I try to leave with less stuff.

If you weren't worth it, you wouldn't be where you are now. And if you don't like where you are, you can move forward. I know sometimes it's about small things (and I still struggle with anxiety and ego control: sometimes I'm too hard on myself) but it's an ongoing process and as long as you know your worth, you can keep on working on other things. 

I don't know what your job is or your life in general but my suggestion is: pack up your bag and go somewhere far away. If you need advice for travelling with no (or not much) money I can help you! Every time I lose myself I find my backpack and leave. I know it can sound utopic because maybe you have a good job or you are afraid of "wasting time" but trust me, your happiness is the most important thing and travelling helped me believe in myself and shape who I am.

I send you a big hug 🤍

Thank you so much for this long message, really means a lot. I can definitively relate to your childhood part, I was exactly the same.

As for travelling, I agree, it's really freeing, and I love to do so every chance I get. But that being said, I really don't want to as long as COVID is there, or at least until when almost everyone is vaccinated. I live close and see often people with serious disease, I wouldn't want to risk getting it and giving it to them afterwards. But as soon as it's safer I 100% plan on travelling yes 💕 At the moment I miss London dearly, so it's probably going to be my next destination!

(Also I'll be more free next year, I have a student loan to pay back, but in ends in september 2022, so I definitively plan to use that to re-evaluate my life, job, place of living, etc. But so far, I'm hanging on the hardest I can, even if it's some days VERY hard)

Thank you again ❤️

 

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3 hours ago, Leography said:

it felt good to get it off my chest, and read your kind words.

That’s what matters 💕 you are brave for sharing this with us. You’re a beautiful and kind person. 

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I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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16 minutes ago, Leography said:

Thank you king, right back at you ❤️

Love you king 🤴❤️
image.gif.afa1623d89af7a0cf867c973964cb54a.gif

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I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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18 hours ago, Leography said:

Hi guys, Hope you're well and dandy (well, as much as we can in 2021)

I wanted to discuss one issue that is affecting me A LOT, and I'm sure a lot of you as well.

I suffer from a HUGE case of imposter syndrom. For those of you who don't know about it,  it's a pathological way of doubting and refusing any personal accomplishement. I believe it's deeply rooted in my lack of self-esteem (probably born of years of bullying and impossibility to meet society's standards in pretty much every area, but that's another topic) and since I started my current job, almost four years ago now, it's been a nightmare.

It came to a point were I had nervous breakdowns because while I can see I'm doing ok, I keep telling myself I'm getting let go the first chance they'll get. There's always this voice telling me that I'm not enough, that I'll never be, and shouldn't even try, because, really, what's the point? So Indeed, I don't try hard enough, because I'm so scared. It's a really paralysing mindset, even physically sometimes.

So my question is, if you suffer from that, do you have any coping mechanism, tricks, anything to help you moving forward and not being stuck? 

I'm sorry for such a downer post, with probably Sh*t tons of typos, but it's past midnight here, and I really wanted to get that off my chest.

I'm so sorry for that! ❤️

I initially thought that the imposter syndrome meant pretending to be someone else, but while reading your post right now, I strongly related to what you described it as to be. I'm going to research a bit more about it and see, because thinking that any of my achievements mean nothing and that they're just a way of luck, that I'm nothing and no one important are a huge part of my daily thoughts. 

 

Thank you for sharing this. While I may be unable to leave you any coping mechanisms, you might have helped me by talking about it! 

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1 minute ago, dafniye said:

I'm so sorry for that! ❤️

I initially thought that the imposter syndrome meant pretending to be someone else, but while reading your post right now, I strongly related to what you described it as to be. I'm going to research a bit more about it and see, because thinking that any of my achievements mean nothing and that they're just a way of luck, that I'm nothing and no one important are a huge part of my daily thoughts. 

 

Thank you for sharing this. While I may be unable to leave you any coping mechanisms, you might have helped me by talking about it! 

I'm glad to read that! (That I helped you, no you having those thoughts as well!)

It's truly a battle, but I'm sure we can win it! We're still here and still doing things no matter what those thoughts are saying, so it has to count for something ❤️

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Just now, Leography said:

I'm glad to read that! (That I helped you, no you having those thoughts as well!)

It's truly a battle, but I'm sure we can win it! We're still here and still doing things no matter what those thoughts are saying, so it has to count for something ❤️

You said it! ❤️

Even though I didn't know (and still don't know) if I have the imposter syndrome, what really helps me battle these thoughts is thinking about how I wouldn't say that to somebody else, so I shouldn't be thinking about that stuff for my ownself too. Treat yourself how you would treat others. You deserve kindness too 💕

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4 minutes ago, dafniye said:

Treat yourself how you would treat others.

Preach! I've learn it the other way around when I was a kid, treat others the way you want to be treated, but it's just as true that way around. It's not always easy to use though, since I almost constantly think that I'm worth less than others, so I can't do it. But yeah, sometimes I get to remember it's not true. 💕

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On 2/6/2021 at 12:38 PM, Leography said:

I almost constantly think that I'm worth less than others, so I can't do it. But yeah, sometimes I get to remember it's not true. 💕

You’re worth it my dear. 🥺 the fact that There’s people who really love you and care about you, and I’m glad you remember that you remember that don’t worth less, you worth even more! 🥰:cute: you worth A LOT. 

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I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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On 2/5/2021 at 11:35 PM, Leography said:

Hi guys, Hope you're well and dandy (well, as much as we can in 2021)

I wanted to discuss one issue that is affecting me A LOT, and I'm sure a lot of you as well.

I suffer from a HUGE case of imposter syndrom. For those of you who don't know about it,  it's a pathological way of doubting and refusing any personal accomplishement. I believe it's deeply rooted in my lack of self-esteem (probably born of years of bullying and impossibility to meet society's standards in pretty much every area, but that's another topic) and since I started my current job, almost four years ago now, it's been a nightmare.

It came to a point were I had nervous breakdowns because while I can see I'm doing ok, I keep telling myself I'm getting let go the first chance they'll get. There's always this voice telling me that I'm not enough, that I'll never be, and shouldn't even try, because, really, what's the point? So Indeed, I don't try hard enough, because I'm so scared. It's a really paralysing mindset, even physically sometimes.

So my question is, if you suffer from that, do you have any coping mechanism, tricks, anything to help you moving forward and not being stuck? 

I'm sorry for such a downer post, with probably Sh*t tons of typos, but it's past midnight here, and I really wanted to get that off my chest.

I didn't know about this :( I'm so so sorry that you feel like that. I cant imagine how hard it is. I hope you feel a bit more positive soon 💗

 

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On 2/6/2021 at 6:38 PM, Leography said:

Preach! I've learn it the other way around when I was a kid, treat others the way you want to be treated, but it's just as true that way around. It's not always easy to use though, since I almost constantly think that I'm worth less than others, so I can't do it. But yeah, sometimes I get to remember it's not true. 💕

Yesss this is so true. Be kind to yourself 

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On 2/6/2021 at 12:35 AM, Leography said:

Hi guys, Hope you're well and dandy (well, as much as we can in 2021)

I wanted to discuss one issue that is affecting me A LOT, and I'm sure a lot of you as well.

I suffer from a HUGE case of imposter syndrom. For those of you who don't know about it,  it's a pathological way of doubting and refusing any personal accomplishement. I believe it's deeply rooted in my lack of self-esteem (probably born of years of bullying and impossibility to meet society's standards in pretty much every area, but that's another topic) and since I started my current job, almost four years ago now, it's been a nightmare.

It came to a point were I had nervous breakdowns because while I can see I'm doing ok, I keep telling myself I'm getting let go the first chance they'll get. There's always this voice telling me that I'm not enough, that I'll never be, and shouldn't even try, because, really, what's the point? So Indeed, I don't try hard enough, because I'm so scared. It's a really paralysing mindset, even physically sometimes.

So my question is, if you suffer from that, do you have any coping mechanism, tricks, anything to help you moving forward and not being stuck? 

I'm sorry for such a downer post, with probably Sh*t tons of typos, but it's past midnight here, and I really wanted to get that off my chest.

Bumped into this article and thought about you... have a read! 😘 

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Thank you guys SO much for all the love 💕 the past few weeks have been quite intense (and it's far from over, I'm basically at war with my boss atm) so I didn't have much energy left to come here and talk with y'all, I'm really sorry 🥺 

I'm going to take some time to read all your messages, but thanks a lot @tony @Judas @gia @dafniye, it really means a lot ❤️

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On 2/26/2021 at 1:01 PM, Leography said:

Thank you guys SO much for all the love 💕 the past few weeks have been quite intense (and it's far from over, I'm basically at war with my boss atm) so I didn't have much energy left to come here and talk with y'all, I'm really sorry 🥺 

I'm going to take some time to read all your messages, but thanks a lot @tony @Judas @gia @dafniye, it really means a lot ❤️

I love you ❤️ We’re always here for you. 
:bff:

I hope you’re having a good time and recover your energy. 

I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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