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Distortion of our image and self-esteem in social media


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After commenting on Tony's post called "How social media affects your reality?", I have decided to publish this post talking more specifically about the distortion that we create in our image using filters on social networks to meet the expectations of some stereotypes of unreal beauty.

Citing my case; My problem is that I feel pressure on social media for how it should look. They all show a beautiful version of themselves and sometimes it is unreal. But sometimes I ignore that and try to reach the level of beauty to get validation from others. And not meeting expectations is very frustrating because when I see my real image I don't like it at all.

And to see myself better I use instagram filters for example, and I abuse them so much, because I don't look good, that when I see my face without filters it horrifies me. it's a very toxic loop.

 
 
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Hi, it's actually quite normal to dislike your own photos.

1. Because we used/still use mirrors to form our self-perception. This means we know our face mirrored and we feel disconnected when we see our un-mirrored selfs on pictures.

2. Camera lenses are distorting our appearance, because they convert a 3D-human into a 2D-picture. This makes closer objects relatively bigger (for example your nose). This effect is stronger when the camera is closer to your face (selfies).

So, you're much more beautiful than you think you are.

Try to reduce the use of filters, because it's a toxic loop (as you wrote) and you don't need them.

Just remember, that you're a goddamn superstar! :hot:

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17 hours ago, Verus Turbo said:

Hi, it's actually quite normal to dislike your own photos.

1. Because we used/still use mirrors to form our self-perception. This means we know our face mirrored and we feel disconnected when we see our un-mirrored selfs on pictures.

2. Camera lenses are distorting our appearance, because they convert a 3D-human into a 2D-picture. This makes closer objects relatively bigger (for example your nose). This effect is stronger when the camera is closer to your face (selfies).

So, you're much more beautiful than you think you are.

Try to reduce the use of filters, because it's a toxic loop (as you wrote) and you don't need them.

Just remember, that you're a goddamn superstar! :hot:

wow your observations are very intelligent, you are absolutely right!  Thank you very much for sharing them with me🥰

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18 hours ago, Verus Turbo said:

Hi, it's actually quite normal to dislike your own photos.

1. Because we used/still use mirrors to form our self-perception. This means we know our face mirrored and we feel disconnected when we see our un-mirrored selfs on pictures.

2. Camera lenses are distorting our appearance, because they convert a 3D-human into a 2D-picture. This makes closer objects relatively bigger (for example your nose). This effect is stronger when the camera is closer to your face (selfies).

So, you're much more beautiful than you think you are.

Try to reduce the use of filters, because it's a toxic loop (as you wrote) and you don't need them.

Just remember, that you're a goddamn superstar! :hot:

absolutely 100% correct! i actually didn’t know that camera lenses convert 3D humans into 2D pictures. thanks for sharing!

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On 6/25/2021 at 4:36 PM, threedaysrey said:

absolutely 100% correct! i actually didn’t know that camera lenses convert 3D humans into 2D pictures. thanks for sharing!

true!  ❤️

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also since some time has passed I want to say that thanks to your comments and the reflection that I have made on this issue I have begun to have more security and to change toxic actions that I did in social networks ❤️

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On 7/1/2021 at 4:41 PM, Antoniononon said:

also since some time has passed I want to say that thanks to your comments and the reflection that I have made on this issue I have begun to have more security and to change toxic actions that I did in social networks ❤️

Espero que te encuentres bien. 💓:kiss:

I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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1 hour ago, gagagoddess said:

I think this is one of my problems. I can't post photos without filters 🤧

I think the same as you. But I sometimes post pictures without them, I’m starting to feel comfortable with my face. I do use filters, but I don’t use them as much as I used them in the past. 

I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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On 7/10/2021 at 10:45 AM, Tony said:

I think the same as you. But I sometimes post pictures without them, I’m starting to feel comfortable with my face. I do use filters, but I don’t use them as much as I used them in the past. 

I've tried it but I still can't :c 

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56 minutes ago, gagagoddess said:

I've tried it but I still can't :c 

 

56 minutes ago, gagagoddess said:

I've tried it but I still can't :c 

You’ll feel comfortable one day. Don’t worry 😉 

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I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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It is very sad to know that some people are still not comfortable with their bodies. Gaga helped me a lot in this process and I hope it helps you too.

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On 7/13/2021 at 5:48 AM, gagagoddess said:

I've tried it but I still can't :c 

It is a boring and difficult process, but I guarantee that you gradually get used to it.

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15 hours ago, Meduza said:

I already had a lot of problems with my appearance, today not so much. Filters don't help our self-esteem at all.

True, I think people are hiding behind filters a lot these days because they are prone to beauty thoughts. But I don't expect myself and others to be perfect everytime on social media, and that helped me to sometimes post unfiltered pictures. Hope I would be braver to post more frequent in the future...

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On 7/17/2021 at 10:20 AM, AnneBond said:

True, I think people are hiding behind filters a lot these days because they are prone to beauty thoughts. But I don't expect myself and others to be perfect everytime on social media, and that helped me to sometimes post unfiltered pictures. Hope I would be braver to post more frequent in the future...

It's a process, you know? We are used to a single pattern and anything different makes us feel bad. But Gaga helped me a lot in this process and I hope she helps you too.

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I think we never see ourselves for what we really are. We are picky about things that other people don't even notice. I believe it's normal, as we are biased by the perception we have of ourselves. Filters on social media are the easiest and most accessible way to "fix" what we don't like of ourselves (according to our perception). It all is also related to the way we perceive other people's judgments... I know for some people it is harder than for others but free yourselves! I used to care much more about the way I would appear in public than what I do now! I spent a lot of time travelling, met people from everywhere and believe me, when someone has something to tell, people don't pay that much attention to the amount of make-up you are convering your face on or how well-shaved your legs are. If you believe on yourself you automatically start looking more attractive than what you think! Society (and especially small-town realities) tries to impose beauty standards because without them capitalism wouldn't work as well. Here's an example: in the 90s-00s nobody would walk around painting their eyebrows. Today it seems to be one of the must-haves to look attractive. Have you thought about how many brands have started producing eye-brows pencils?

I hope you will manage to end the loop, it's worth it! I'm sure you don't need all of those filters, as you can walk through life without them!

Paws up!

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I recently watched a documentary about plastic surgery and an increasing number of patients want to look like their "filter self". The doctors even have a special term for this phenomenon: "filter dysmorphia". Filters actually mess with our psyche.

Here are some steps I (a random internet user, who's not psychologically trained) think could help.

  • I think the most important step is to be understanding to and don't pressure yourself. Your already read this thread and thought critical about your own filter usage. This enables your mind to subconsciously work on this issue and this will result in thoughts, that will form your own unique way to improve your life.
  • Start to unfollow people, with whom you compare yourself with, especially those who heavily use filters.
  • Start posting unedited pictures. You don't need to post them publicly, send them to friends in private chats instead of edited ones.
  • Be aware, that you don't need to post pictures of yourself on social media. Maybe you can feel better by avoiding the hypothetical or real judgement of your appearance.

Also, I have to agree with @gia. The way you carry yourself is more important than your actual look. But to become more confident is really difficult, we all know that. I'm not nearly as self-assured as I would like to be, too. I always think about myself as confident and firm, when I'm alone, but this doesn't last long, when I'm actually interacting with people. Yet I try to improve my confidence, particularly by educating and training myself. Because it's easier to be proud of yourself, when you know you can do things other people can't.

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