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Cat calling


dafniye
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Hi! I hope everyone is doing well around here. 

I wanted to ask, how do you deal with cat calling or people much, much older than you hitting on you? 

I get so stressed out about this, just a few days ago my principal hit on me through text messages while I was talking to him about our exams and at that moment, I didn't realize that it was creepy until I told my friend much, much later and then I realized how wrong that was, and honestly, I'm not ready to face him again when school opens. We do have to go to school for on-campus exams, so I'm stressing out about seeing him. In 9th grade too, during exams, he used to take a round around the hall, and he would come to my seat in every exam and it was tiring even back then. 

I can't report him as I don't have the courage for it and I don't even know if I should because it was sort of miniscule, but I wanna know how I should deal with it later on and right now as I'm stressing about it. I have blocked his number at the moment. 

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Just mind your business and try to avoid him as much as you can (without fear). If he comes too close, make sure he understands that he's not welcomed.

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I’m sorry to hear that.

You should ignore and avoid him, just like Matt said.

And since you see him only at school try to stay with other people and not alone while you are there, especially in those places where you think you might see him. 

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So sorry to hear that you're dealing with that situation :( 

You should avoid him if he tries to talk with you. He should know that he needs to be with people around his age, so don't be shy if you need to report him if you see that it's going worse. 

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35 minutes ago, Matt said:

Just mind your business and try to avoid him as much as you can (without fear). If he comes too close, make sure he understands that he's not welcomed.

 

19 minutes ago, Giulia Monster said:

I’m sorry to hear that.

You should ignore and avoid him, just like Matt said.

And since you see him only at school try to stay with other people and not alone while you are there, especially in those places where you think you might see him. 

 

12 minutes ago, bllackout said:

So sorry to hear that you're dealing with that situation :( 

You should avoid him if he tries to talk with you. He should know that he needs to be with people around his age, so don't be shy if you need to report him if you see that it's going worse. 

Thank you for all your responses. 

I'll try to avoid him the best as I can, a while back I had to go collect my report card from him so I took my sister inside his office with me, because I really didn't feel comfortable to be alone, and seems like my gut instinct was right. 

I have warned my friends off him, and even told the ones I know contact him sometimes regarding school to look out, so hopefully he doesn't do anything more. 

One of my friend did tell me that he used to be very frank with the seniors in school back then when we used to go (it's an all girls school) and now that I think about it, he did spent a lot of time chatting with them. 

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1 hour ago, dafniye said:

Hi! I hope everyone is doing well around here. 

I wanted to ask, how do you deal with cat calling or people much, much older than you hitting on you? 

I get so stressed out about this, just a few days ago my principal hit on me through text messages while I was talking to him about our exams and at that moment, I didn't realize that it was creepy until I told my friend much, much later and then I realized how wrong that was, and honestly, I'm not ready to face him again when school opens. We do have to go to school for on-campus exams, so I'm stressing out about seeing him. In 9th grade too, during exams, he used to take a round around the hall, and he would come to my seat in every exam and it was tiring even back then. 

I can't report him as I don't have the courage for it and I don't even know if I should because it was sort of miniscule, but I wanna know how I should deal with it later on and right now as I'm stressing about it. I have blocked his number at the moment. 

Print every message and send to your email for future security. Please, be safe and tell an adult about it.

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33 minutes ago, hagofeen said:

Print every message and send to your email for future security. Please, be safe and tell an adult about it.

I have taken screenshots and sent them to a few friends also so that's already been covered. I have been thinking about telling me sister but I don't know how to

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2 minutes ago, dafniye said:

I have taken screenshots and sent them to a few friends also so that's already been covered. I have been thinking about telling me sister but I don't know how to

It's a great idea talking to your sister. Tell her you need an advice and be honest about everything. She'll know how to help. 

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2 hours ago, dafniye said:

Hi! I hope everyone is doing well around here. 

I wanted to ask, how do you deal with cat calling or people much, much older than you hitting on you? 

I get so stressed out about this, just a few days ago my principal hit on me through text messages while I was talking to him about our exams and at that moment, I didn't realize that it was creepy until I told my friend much, much later and then I realized how wrong that was, and honestly, I'm not ready to face him again when school opens. We do have to go to school for on-campus exams, so I'm stressing out about seeing him. In 9th grade too, during exams, he used to take a round around the hall, and he would come to my seat in every exam and it was tiring even back then. 

I can't report him as I don't have the courage for it and I don't even know if I should because it was sort of miniscule, but I wanna know how I should deal with it later on and right now as I'm stressing about it. I have blocked his number at the moment. 

OMG. I am shocked about this. I guess you have to tell your parents about this and please, when you go to the exams, don't be alone, always stay with a friend. Don't be afraid about this, and as Matt said, try to avoid him as much as you can (without fear). If he comes too close, make sure he understands that he's not welcomed. You don't deserve this type of situations. Be brave. 

I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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I totally get you and I have the same worries. It had happened to me many times and I never had the courage to call them out or talk to anyone about it. The first time it happened I felt so guilty, for the longest time I thought it was my fault and I still have a lot of trouble dealing with it.

The only thing I can tell you is to talk with an adult about it, someone who can actually help you, and please please be careful when you're around the principal, don't stay alone with him and most important get someone to have your back. Stay safe and I hope you can get him to stay away from you, you don't deserve to go through this

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49 minutes ago, justagirlvic said:

I totally get you and I have the same worries. It had happened to me many times and I never had the courage to call them out or talk to anyone about it. The first time it happened I felt so guilty, for the longest time I thought it was my fault and I still have a lot of trouble dealing with it.

The only thing I can tell you is to talk with an adult about it, someone who can actually help you, and please please be careful when you're around the principal, don't stay alone with him and most important get someone to have your back. Stay safe and I hope you can get him to stay away from you, you don't deserve to go through this

I'm so sorry. It really sucks when you're put in a position like this. I definitely relate to you in the guilty conscience. I somehow feel like I led him on, even though I was talking respectfully and only relevant to school, but still, the thought is still there. 

I'll tell my friends to accompany me during exams. I just don't want to have a panic attack if he stops at my desk again, because he most likely will, and I don't want to act out in front of my other classmates and school. 

Again, I'm really sorry you had to go through that too. I hope you find peace with the situation someday and clear yourself of fault

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9 hours ago, dafniye said:

One of my friend did tell me that he used to be very frank with the seniors in school back then when we used to go (it's an all girls school) and now that I think about it, he did spent a lot of time chatting with them. 

This is awful!!! It's terrible how men feels it's normal to do things like to that to girls, only because they are in a position of power...

10 hours ago, dafniye said:

I have warned my friends off him, and even told the ones I know contact him sometimes regarding school to look out, so hopefully he doesn't do anything more. 

You did good, it's best if people close to you know what happened and can help you, and that you are not alone!

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2 hours ago, Giulia Monster said:

This is awful!!! It's terrible how men feels it's normal to do things like to that to girls, only because they are in a position of power...

Exactly. I'm so tired of men, especially much, much older men than me thinking that they can get away with doing whatever they want. I was first sexualized at the age of 10 and then very heavily at 11 and that fucked me up so much.

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31 minutes ago, dafniye said:

Exactly. I'm so tired of men, especially much, much older men than me thinking that they can get away with doing whatever they want. I was first sexualized at the age of 10 and then very heavily at 11 and that fucked me up so much.

I’m so sorry to hear that 😞 I hope you’ll get through this soon. Don’t worry and stay safe ❤️

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54 minutes ago, Giulia Monster said:

I’m so sorry to hear that 😞 I hope you’ll get through this soon. Don’t worry and stay safe ❤️

Thank you. I will try. It felt good to talk about this here and I'm a bit relieved now, and appreciate everyone's advices! ❤️

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  • 2 weeks later...

I had to submit some documents at  school today, and I didn't want to go at first, but my father insisted for me to go to see a change of environment. I went to my school and the receptionist directed me to my old wing, where there was like a round table of men sitting collecting the required documents. 

As I was looking at them trying to figure out who to give them to, I heard the principal's voice saying that to give them here. I kind of just froze at that moment and felt a panic attack building up inside of me, I thrusted the documents in the hands of the nearest man and rushed out of there. My sister was with me and wanted to stay for a few minutes to look at her old wing, but I hurried her out of there.

The principal called me an endearing term that kind of translates to 'son' in our language, which is a gender neutral term and I felt so disgusted. He would use that before too with everyone but it never bothered me before as much as it did today.

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2 hours ago, dafniye said:

I had to submit some documents at  school today, and I didn't want to go at first, but my father insisted for me to go to see a change of environment. I went to my school and the receptionist directed me to my old wing, where there was like a round table of men sitting collecting the required documents. 

As I was looking at them trying to figure out who to give them to, I heard the principal's voice saying that to give them here. I kind of just froze at that moment and felt a panic attack building up inside of me, I thrusted the documents in the hands of the nearest man and rushed out of there. My sister was with me and wanted to stay for a few minutes to look at her old wing, but I hurried her out of there.

The principal called me an endearing term that kind of translates to 'son' in our language, which is a gender neutral term and I felt so disgusted. He would use that before too with everyone but it never bothered me before as much as it did today.

I can't imagine how you felt at that moment. But if you feel that you might be in danger around him, please report it. His behavior is not appropriate. I hope you feel better, Dafniye. :bff: I send you a big hug. 

I think when love is pure you try to understand the reasons why…

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Thank you Tony! I will report it if he does something more. Right now, I'm not that worried as I'm at home and I have him blocked. But when the schools open, that will be a whole new situation.

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